This story is conducted in like a workplace situation. And it's happened on, like online

conference happened during pandemic and everybody's work from home. And this is a

meeting that I supposed to do certain task that's been assigned to me and let's see how I

perform that task and what happens with me in that meeting. So it was my turn to like, take

notes in the for the minutes of the meeting. And my screen is presented all the senior

management is there and I am taking notes. And the moment of taking public notes. And

writing it down. Was already very nerve wracking for me and. Knowing that I make mistakes

and more in public scrutiny. I. Would make silly mistakes and that became like a problem.

It was very difficult. To keep that feeling inside of not. Making mistakes? I was I was

constantly feeling that I was being watched and maybe criticized in public, that those were

like my fears, that somebody would point out and say, hey, you don't know the spelling of

that or you're making so many mistakes and start questioning me. There were moments

where I used to get taunted or teased informally outside the meetings, and this happened

more before my diagnosis reduced after knowing and my when my colleagues knew a little.

It, but it did happen in more playful manner, but it was. Not the best feeling when that

happens. So yeah, so. So I felt very frustrated to not be able to finish a task efficiently. I'm

unable to live up to my own expectations achievements because of my incapabilities. I

know. There was so much self doubt and I would do a lot of self loathing as well, cursing

myself to not be. Able to perform. But with a lot of personal. Reflections and retrospection

and also like what consuming a lot of other resources. Personally I realize that not all

environment or different spaces that I was in. Isn't conducive for us. So I started to

understand that it's important to start embracing my own self. To reduce the implication of

how the place is so. Embracing my own self. Self can reduce that nervousness, frustration.

And slowly, slowly help cope in that situation better than I currently am. So acceptance

and embracing. Really helps. It's still a work in progress for me still if that this situation

comes up, I will continue to feel like this, but I wouldn't let this feeling last really long,

wouldn't prolong. So that's my constant effort currently.Let's move to next page for

emotion.

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